Smash Your Head In With Thor’s Hammer (Analyzing Metal, part 2)

Sit back, relax, and enjoy my rant.  We’ve all been there. You go to a party, or its your first day in a new place, or you’re out at some other social interaction, and you meet them. You know who I’m talking about. Those… “fans”. Yea, those people. The ones you just hope get hit by a bus and 10 smart cars on their way out the door. Sadly, Metal is chock full o’ them.

First, you get kids like me, who enjoy the strong sound Metal has, but also enjoy variety in our music. Often, these individuals will listen to some other form of Rock, or maybe even some Pop, but they will always be waiting for the next wave of Metal to be submersed in.

Then you have the die hards. The freaks. The fanatics. These are the equivalent to those obnoxious sports fans who swear that “we could have done better in that game”, when they don’t own any share in whatever team they’re referring to, nor will they ever. Pop quiz, asshole: aside from your “hard earned cash” going toward buying a ticket to sit and watch other people play, where does the term “we” come in? You don’t own the players, you don’t own the brand. Shut up.

Overall, I believe music is meant for entertainment and enjoyment, not making a scene or trying to “be different”. By following someone who is different, you are not different, you are a follower. You are copying something someone has already done. Music is the same way. There will always be a few shining stars who change the way individuals think about a genre and then there will be a million more to make it over kill. This includes the fans who believe these imposter groups are the real innovators. The fans that will go out of there way to tell you how much their music rocks and how much yours blows because you’re not “metal” enough. Get off their collective dicks and go back to your job at McDonalds or your WoW second life. Jerk offs.

These are the same people who take every word a band says for face value. Slayer says Gods hates us all? Must be true, never mind that Tom Araya is a devout Christian. The Black Metal guys like to burn churches? We should do it too, even though they do it because all they really want is attention.

Take a word of advice and follow what the title of this blog says.