Gimme 5: Things You’re Doing Wrong

Fear not, citizens of The World.  I am here to guide you away from some of oblivious behavior you should be rethinking.  Let’s begin, shall we?

You should probably:

Stop trusting your bank so much – Nearly four years ago, our fragile economic bubble burst when people couldn’t pay back money which was lent to them.  Banks had to be bailed out and we had the privilege of being the ones who helped them.  Meanwhile, when you put your money in a bank account, it costs you money to get it back.  Whether it’s ATM fees, minimum balance requirements, or a check imaging fee (what the hell is that, exactly?), banks charge YOU to use your own money.  It’s ridiculous.  All in all, you’re probably better off tucking cash under your mattress.

Stop criticizing celebrities for their political views – We’ve all heard celebrities speak about their political views and thoughts on hot button issues, but we seem to have less tolerance when it comes to their opinion compared to the “every man’s” opinion.  The truth is they live on this planet too, so they can speak about what’s wrong with politics and the environment just as much as you can.  Think they don’t know enough about the issue they’re yacking about?  Neither do most people you run into.  But guess what?  They can all vote whether they have the knowledge or not.  But rather than go into that, maybe we should…

Stop trusting the government to fix problems they created – This is the ultimate definition of irony.  They can’t fix the messes they put us in.  So let’s move on to why it might also be wise to…

Stop considering celebrities to be role models – Let’s face it: you don’t want your child looking up to most of them anyway, so stop telling them what they shouldn’t do or say for fear of its influence on young people.  That’s what parenting was invented long before fame.  A celebrity who snorts lines of coke off the asses of teenage hookers should not be encouraged to give that up to tell children to attend college and earn a degree.  They get no credit if your kid ends up on the Dean’s List, so they shouldn’t be blamed if your kid grows up to be a loser.  Actually, while we’re already considering disappointment, you can save a little of that if you…

Stop using your DVR when you miss a prime time show – DVRs are great, but thanks to the internet, the conclusion of every one-hour drama is ruined immediately via Google, Facebook, and Twitter.  And let’s not even talk about the misfortune of people living in the Central or Pacific time zones.  Just avoid using the internet altogether until you catch up on your shows.  The web is here to ruin all the best things in the world, so unplug once in a while.

However, make sure you plug back in by next Monday where I will close out this themed month by giving you my latest batch of Random Thoughts.  TTFN.