In Your Own Words: My Favorite Tweets (Part 2)

If you frequently visit our site, you’ve probably noticed a recent lack of blog posts.  Well, I’m going to tell you why.  When Andrew, Ryan, Jack and I gathered to talk about our impending third year of this dot-com, we agreed that posting on a schedule has flooded the site with blogs.  Granted, they’re fun to write and we enjoy bestowing our wit and wisdom upon the world, but they have slowly declined in readership.  Plus we want to put more emphasis on our shows and videos and make those the majority of our output so, basically, we’ve agreed to stop posting blogs on a daily schedule and post them whenever we have something to say rather than on a weekly schedule.  Alas, since I’ve been consistently posting Rants on Mondays since November 2010, I’m going to stop my weekly posting on Mondays when I hit 100 posts.  This is my 95th blog, so October 22 will be my last weekly installment of Rants.  After that, I’ll post them whenever I think I have something interesting to say.

Now, on to this Twitter business.  Plenty of people don’t use Twitter and many aren’t likely to go back months and months to read my hilarity, so this is a gathering of my favorite 140-character tidbits from the last nine months (since I posted my first favorite tweets collection).  When we changed our site’s theme over in the Spring, we lost our Twitter widget (sounds like nonsense) so our most recent tweets no longer showed up on the site.  Before that, I made a point of posting tweets almost every day, but since we lost that little pocket of humor on the site, I have been much less consistent about tweeting.  Regardless, I still recommend you follow me at @ChrisAballo.  Here we go.

12-06-11: Both Nickelback and Daughtry released new albums 2 weeks ago and I can’t tell the difference between them

12-11-11: It doesn’t matter who gets elected President, like WWE, it’s just a big show where the title doesn’t actually mean anything

12-16-11: Just came across a CD which claimed to be the best of P.O.D. Who knew there was a thing?

12-25-11: Merry Xmas, world. Regardless of your faith (if any) you have to appreciate the ideas of giving & getting presents, eating food, and family.

01-03-12: Hooked a Walkman up to my car stereo using my iPod auxiliary cable just to listen to old cassettes #EightiesForLife #Cowabunga #PizzaPower

01-04-12: Justin Timberfake is engaged and millions of girls who had absolutely no shot with him are heartbroken #SoLongSuckers

01-17-12: So Jay-Z claims he’s dropping “bitch” from “99 Problems” now that he has a daughter. I love paternal hypocrisy.

01-27-12: Ever notice how everyone else chooses the most bizarre ringtones? Not you, of course. #sarcasm

02-02-12: While standing in line, a dryer sheet I was unaware of fell out of my shirt. Awkward or proof I’m clean?

02-07-12: #carbage – it’s going to be a thing soon

02-11-12: Watching Channing Tatum emote seems about as natural as watching a dog walk on its hind legs #TheVow

02-21-12: #ReplaceBandNamesWithPancake Pancake Halen, because this “reunion” leaves everyone flat. No? Fine. But I stand by my beliefs.#HagarNation

03-08-12: Dear Guitar World: Top 50 Van Halen songs and only 8 with Sammy? Untrue. Plus, ranking Tattoo above Poundcake is blasphemous!#HagarNation

03-17-12: Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, as long as Irish is spelled D-R-U-N-K

03-20-12: Bumper Sticker Of The Day: “God Rules!!!” So American. Are there “Elizabeth Rules!!!” bumper stickers in the UK? Same national concept.

03-26-12: Love running into people you haven’t seen in ages. “So what are you doing now?” “Your mother. Just came from there.” BA-ZING!!

04-09-12: Poor iPhoners. First, Instagram is enabled on Droids. Now they’ve been bought by Facebook. #BadWeekToFeelUnique #NotARealTragedy

04-25-12: Yeah…I don’t have an iPhone so all of the cute little emoticons in your tweets are just little black dots to me #outsider

07-04-12: #Ted seems original only if you haven’t seen anything where Seth MacFarlane makes non-talking life forms curse (babies, dogs, aliens, etc)

07-12-12: Thanks to Carly Rae Jepsen, I’ll bet a ton of dudes are getting more phone numbers than ever before. However, results may vary.

07-14-12: Just saw the Jack Reacher trailer in IMAX. I’m pleased to report I’m still taller than Tom Cruise is when he’s on screen.#JackReacharound

07-16-12: A new TMNT cartoon reboot is on the way with Rudy as Raphael and Pie-fucker as Leonardo. Hollywood continues to punch me in the childhood.

07-28-12: It’s not a Summer Saturday in New Jersey if you haven’t seen a cross-dresser reading a book

08-03-12: “Another ‘Step Up’ movie is a great idea!” – some asshole in charge

AND

Just saw a woman turn a shelf of the 50 Shades books around, proving once again how ugly people are usually the ones offended by sex #blech!

08-12-12: Dear classic rock radio stations, Please stop playing “Bark At The Moon.” Its novelty and cheesiness wore off 20 years ago.#SoDidOzzy

08-28-12: @Taggsonian says I shouldn’t turn my phone off at night just in case he goes to jail and I’m his token phone call #horseshit #80sbaby

09-10-12: Once upon a time, loads of Misfits shirts at Hot Topic used to make me cringe. Now there are even more Deadmau5 shirts there, so I weep.