Random Thoughts 7

If I ever want to shop in a store without being asked by an employee if I need help every six seconds, I go to Walmart.  No one ever offers to help me there.

I hate the phrases “bromance” and “frenemies” and I’m going to say so right now.

Instead of having unpolished nude cell phone photos “leaked” online, why don’t these young actresses sign a $30 million contract to do some nude scenes in a big movie while covered in makeup to make them look flawless?  Hey, if their ass looks great enough, audiences will shell out money for the DVD as well, meaning the actress will earn even more off the back end (see what I did there?).

Even though I’ve never seen an episode of Mad Men, I would really like to hang out with Jon Hamm.  It makes no sense.

As of today, a man alleged Justin Bieber “physically battered” him for taking photos of him while out shopping.  Anyone who would claim to be assaulted by Justin Bieber should be placed in a circle surrounded by a crowd of people pointing and laughing at him for several weeks, with rotating shifts of pointers and laughers if need be.  I’m pretty sure Bieber would lose a fight with an infant.  Just chalk him up to being forgettable and simply forget about him, even if he intentionally poked you in the eye.  Then this national nightmare can be over.