Angry Old Man
I am an angry old man. I love getting carded for NyQuil because kids are so bored and stupid that they have to get fucked up off of cough syrup. You need a hobby. All the idiot teenagers in towns around the Jersey shore (and the rest of the country I’m sure) need a hobby, or several. It’s summertime, so of course, gaggles of lily-white teenagers are on their bikes, darting across roads, screaming at cars they just cut off because they think they’re funny. They travel in packs, which is supremely annoying. They have a death wish, and it takes every ounce of strength I have not to purposely run them down. Many of theses idiots just graduated high school this month, which is probably the most pedestrian accomplishment that exists in modern America. However, that doesn’t stop zealous parents from posting signs all over town saying how proud they are of their kid, as if this is some astronomical feat, and not something that is fully expected of anyone with a pulse.