It’s A Chopper, Baby

“I finally took my bike out this week.”

“You have a motorcycle?”

“No, idiot. I said I took my bike out this week.”

For the record, a motorcycle is not a “bike”. Bikes require exercise to make them go places, and are usually not ridden by a burly, leather-clad dude, with a skinny, stringy-haired bitch with a pink helmet behind him, clinging to his rotund midsection. There are indeed tandem bikes, but they’re much more adorable than what I just described. On second thought, they’re not adorable at all, but I digress. Bikes don’t have motors or gas pedals. So, if you want to call it a “chopper”, a “hog”, or <insert deity here> forbid a motorcycle, be my guest. To avoid further confusion, your rolling death trap is not a bike.

P.S.- Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead.