Shits And Gigs, Episode III: On The Roads

– Three of the worst things ever invented for the sake of traffic are circles, jughandles, and four-way stops. Circles, which are prominent in New Jersey, only seem to confuse the crap out of people. Jughandles only exist because the Garden State, in its infinite wisdom, doesn’t like anybody to make a left-hand turn, ANYWHERE. Lastly, nobody knows what to do at a four-way stop. Four drivers usually sit there staring at each other, because nobody knows who got to the stop first or who is supposed to turn first. Four-ways should be abolished in favor of traffic lights.

– There is one great thing about traffic in New Jersey, and that is the yellow light. It seems to last forever around here. The light will turn yellow and you could start driving from another galaxy and make it through before it turns red. Love that.

– Maybe I’m crazy, but it seems that people are sleeping at their jobs all week these days. Monday mornings and Friday evenings are like hell on earth out on the roads, but the middle of the week seems strangely devoid of such horrific traffic jams.

– All roads in New Jersey should be paved with adamantium, the same stuff that Wolverine’s skeleton is made from. That way, if a pothole did ever form for some reason, it would magically regenerate and refill itself.