Soda Jerks

It seems that the government, doctors and other health officials have chosen a primary target in their futile war against obesity: SODA. What started out as a blanket campaign against sugar is showing the beginnings of an all-out attack on that delicious blend of carbonated water and high fructose corn syrup. Americans have apparently gotten so fat, lazy and out of control that the government has gone from making suggestions at to what we should and should not eat, to what we can and cannot eat. This unbelievably authoritarian war has taken foothold in New York City where Mayor Bloomberg and his food police have proposed the ban on soda containers larger than 16 ounces. Soda is nothing but pure sugar, has no nutritional value whatsoever, and is well, just downright awful for you. We know. It’s also delicious, legal and consumed worldwide. We all know there’s no good goddamn reason to drink 44 ounces of soda in one sitting, from one container or several, except that if we’re not hurting anyone else, we’re free to do what we want. We do, after all, live in a free country…or so we thought. It’s not the government’s job to make fat people not fat anymore, or to take free will or personal responsibility away from us. Bloomberg and his busybody health officials have run afoul of Americans everywhere, business owners and beverage companies, all of which are questioning the legality of such a ban, and rightfully so. It is up to us to create a balance in our own lives. If you want to gulp down two liters of soda a day, that’s your business and your right. It may be recommended that you hit the gym pretty regularly and throw in some healthy food, but even that is your decision.

My brothers and I used to guzzle soda like there was no tomorrow when we were kids. Our parents allowed it. Once we were able to dress ourselves, ride our bikes without helmets, and stay up past 9 pm, soda replaced milk at dinner time. I do not drink nearly as much soda as I used to, because I know it is not healthy and I should practice moderation. However, when I’m out to dinner, I’ll have two or three sodas. When I go to the movies, I enjoy the shit out of a 32-oz bucket of future diabetes.

If the government is so worried about rising health care costs, I have a proposition of my own. Anyone who clearly does not take care of themselves and willingly punishes their body should not be entitled to health care on someone else’s dime. They either pay out the ass (their own ass) for whatever treatments they need, or they’re left to sit in the waiting room. Simple. Again, it’s the choice we have the right to make. As long as you are not hurting someone else, you have, and should have the right to do whatever you want to your own body. It is not the place or right of Bloomberg or anyone else in our government to tell us what we can and cannot consume. If we allow this, we are heading down a dark path.

Stay strong out there. Fight the power and drink up!