This Is War

“The only good bug is a dead bug” ~ Starship Troopers

 

Due to the recent storms and humidity, the world around me has become an unbearable insect metropolis. From spiders to mosquitoes, dragonflies to ants, they’ve all be driven out of their hiding spots by the crazy weather and far too many of them have chosen my backyard as home. This will no longer be tolerated. Yesterday, I took it upon myself to wage a one-man attack on my yard with a bottle of bug genocide attached to a garden hose. I sprayed until every last drop came out of that bottle, and you can probably smell it from where you are. While the dragonflies and ants are relatively harmless, the spiders and mosquitoes have got to go. Any bug that has a taste for human flesh or blood is a danger and needs to be taken out. If it were up to me, insects at large would be wiped off the planet, regardless of whatever supposed benefits they provide for this earth. I’m starting small, but I hope my sentiments spread like wildfire. I hope other soldiers in this war can enjoy their summer as the bugs that attack their home and yard suffocate in a puddle of caustic chemicals and then fry in the sun. I don’t care who was here first, this is our world now. We’re bringing the battle to them.

 

Just watch out for zombies, too.