Being a single male, the world of dating is something that both excites and infuriates me: excites when someone favorable catches my eye and the pursuit begins; infuriates when said prospect doesn’t pan out or turns out to be several fries short of a Happy Meal. I’m currently have a mindset when I don’t really care that I’m not currently with someone.
This doesn’t mean if something good comes my way I’ll pass it up. The door is always open in my book and until that special someone comes into my life for good, I’ll always believe something better is on the horizon. That being said, I’ve decided to take time for myself to get my head on straight and focus on bettering myself in all areas of my life without a potential person in mind to pursue, especially after a recent incident which this blog will explain. Bear with me, as some stuff could get personal.
The one thing about dating that sucks the most is rejection. No matter how a person lets you know they’re not interested and crushes your high hopes, it still hurts. Over time, you grow a thicker skin and being upset about rejection starts to sting less and less. While I and (I’m sure) everyone in the world hates this, I still appreciate being told face to face or over the phone or through a text message that someone isn’t interested. At least there’s a definite answer so no more time or thought is wasted on a person that doesn’t feel the same way I do.
My biggest peeve about dating is when that doesn’t happen. Take for instance a recent incident in which I pursued someone who I had known for a while and had a relative interest in, but couldn’t really find the time to get to know her due to circumstances where personal conversation couldn’t take place. I found her to be very attractive, but would find myself perplexed on how to approach her since she wasn’t a very talkative person. I chalked it up to being shy, which is fine with me as I’m a typically shy person too. Don’t believe me? Listen to the first few episodes of our show as I’m barely in them.
Anyway, I decided to go for broke. I figured we don’t really talk that often to one another, but she’s like that with anyone. If I get her on a date, we can talk privately and get to know one another better. If it doesn’t work out, hey, I tried. No hard feelings. I asked and got a response that left me in the same spot I was in before: “Maybe.” She seemed somewhat flattered and gave me her number. I figured I’d wait a few days before attempting to get a definite answer. Days later, I made my move and sent a polite text message asking if she was interested and had some free time in the near future to get together. No response. What I mistakenly thought was shyness was actually too much self-importance and being too stuck up to give me an answer.
After that, I knew where I stood but was angry about not getting a response. If there’s one thing that makes me dislike dating so much, it’s that. You can say yes or no, but say something. It’s rude and inconsiderate of other people’s feelings and I feel personally if someone is willing to take a risk and make an attempt to ask someone on a date, then that person is owed an answer, good or bad. This goes for both men and women.
Since this has all blown over, I’ve let this person out of my head and have decided to better myself first. I have seen this person since and have not or will not approach her ever again. It’s funny how people can do this kind of thing to you, yet you’re made out to be the bad guy. Eye contact is avoided and they’ll go out of their way to go the opposite direction of you no matter what the inconvenience when all you did was ask them out. I chalk that all up to guilt. I don’t feel any shame or regret about this happening, just a sense of relief that I did what I did, it didn’t work out, and I can move on. It’s not the first time this has happened and it may not be the last.
In closing, just give someone an answer. Dating is enough of a volatile minefield as it is, so just be straight with someone. It’ll make you and the other person feel better knowing you can move on with your lives. As far as my story, I’ll be okay while you enjoy being alone. It seems to be what you’re best at.