Soda Jerks

It seems that the government, doctors and other health officials have chosen a primary target in their futile war against obesity: SODA. What started out as a blanket campaign against sugar is showing the beginnings of an all-out attack on that delicious blend of carbonated water and high fructose corn syrup. Americans have apparently gotten […]

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Let Your Fried Chicken Flag Fly

The battle over the legality of gay marriage has been raging for quite some time now, but the whole damn thing was engulfed in flames this past week when Chick-Fil-A president Dan Cathy made a simple statement about the beliefs of his company, in that they support the “traditional” family unit. To put that clearly, […]

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The Dark Night

Everyone has now heard about the tragedy that occurred at the movie theater in Aurora, Colorado. James Holmes allegedly (I hate to even use that word) opened fire on a crowd of unsuspecting movie goers during the midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises last Thursday night, killing 12 and wounding nearly 60 others. The […]

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Rise

4 years in the making. It’s finally here. The epic conclusion to the to the story of Christopher Nolan’s Batman. I still remember seeing The Dark Knight in theaters during the summer of 2008. I injured my knee that night after the movie and passed out on the sidewalk in front of a friend’s house […]

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This Is War

“The only good bug is a dead bug” ~ Starship Troopers   Due to the recent storms and humidity, the world around me has become an unbearable insect metropolis. From spiders to mosquitoes, dragonflies to ants, they’ve all be driven out of their hiding spots by the crazy weather and far too many of them […]

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A Lesson Forgotten

Last week, I went to the theater to see, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and just as I expected, it is the most important movie that is out right now, or that has been released in recent memory. History only seems to remember Lincoln’s later years; his emancipation of the slaves, his presidency, the Civil War, […]

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Take A Number, Grandma

I was at a local supermarket the other take to pick up some fare for an upcoming housewarming party I was hosting. I went to the deli counter to get some cheese for the dozens of burgers that would be grilled on this occasion.  The deli counter was mobbed, and mostly by senior citizens, who […]

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Champagne and Cheez Doodles

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing out in the street, how mad you would get when you had to continually stop whatever delightful game you were playing to let cars pass by? Fast forward to adulthood, you’re a driver and you contemplate murder by motor vehicle when kids playing in the street […]

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Angry Old Man

I am an angry old man. I love getting carded for NyQuil because kids are so bored and stupid that they have to get fucked up off of cough syrup. You need a hobby. All the idiot teenagers in towns around the Jersey shore (and the rest of the country I’m sure) need a hobby, […]

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BRAINZ?!?!?

They’re coming. I’ve been telling everyone for years, but nobody wanted to listen. Now faces are being eaten. People are gutting themselves and throwing their entrails at cops as they’re being chased down. Kids in Florida high schools are breaking out in mysterious rashes that doctors cannot explain. There comes a point where coincidence becomes […]

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