You Snooze, You Lose

The temptation of pressing the “Snooze” button first thing in the morning is one which is difficult to resist, and therein lies the problem.  Being in too sleepy of a state to be rational, you don’t realize the impact those extra 10 minutes of time will have on the rest of your day.  Maybe not all of you have experienced this, but I sure as hell have.

It seems if I spend an extra 10 minutes in bed after my alarm goes off, the remainder of my day is thrown off by at least 10 minutes.  Somehow, the universe will exact its revenge on me by delaying every activity for the rest of my day, as illustrated in the following scenario.

  • A fleet of oversized SUV’s and 18-wheelers will be driving 15 miles below the speed limit directly in front of me, making me at least 10 minutes late for my first timely obligation of the day (incidentally, I believe there is a fleet of slow moving vehicles which is dispatched once my car leaves the driveway in the morning regardless of what time I get out of bed).
  • I will pull in to my first stop just behind someone else who will then be ahead of me in line and have the longest transaction possible no matter where we are.  If it’s a bank, they’ll have about 9,000 deposits which must all be processed separately.  If it’s a store, they will hold up the cashier with their ultra-specific needs which cannot be reconciled in a reasonable amount of time.  You get the idea.
  • If I’m working on said day, my lunch break will be delayed by some incredibly random issue which cannot wait 30 minutes to be resolved.  I will then be hungrier and more irritated by the end of it, furthering my mental chaos.  If work was my first destination of the day, the universe will turn my 10 minute initial delay into arriving at work 17 minutes late.
  • Similarly, at the end of the work day, I will get out of work at least a half hour late, compounding the initial 10 and the 17 minute tardiness of my shift, making me even more irritable and, once again, hungry.  Glorious.
  • Whether this happens on a work day or a day off, if I have plans that night, the compounding will continue.  If I’m meeting friends for dinner or the crew is recording a podcast, I will be 45 minutes to an hour late for whatever social activity I’m engaging in.
  • Once the group I’m with has finished our gathering and smeared me in some well-deserved remarks about my latency, on my way home, I will need to fill up on gas…of course.  Why wouldn’t I need that extra task on such a turbulent day?  Without fail, the one open gas pump keeps stopping the fill every 12 cents and filling my tank now takes much longer.  Now I’m getting home late.  Swell.
  • God damn it.  Of course I’ve run out of clean socks.  I guess I’m staying up to throw in a load of whites.  Now I’ll be going to bed much later than I should, which means I’ll be quite tired when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’ll be once again tempted to hit the “Snooze” button, thereby continuing the vicious cycle.

I can only assume the universe doesn’t like tired people, or people who won’t get out of bed when they plan to.  For me, this always results in a scrambled version of the above situations.  I don’t know why time will occassionally fight against you when you ask a bit more of it.  Just be certain ten minutes could cost you a large chunk of your day in the end.

And to think I didn’t even outline a day when you have to catch an airplane.