Halt, Intruder!

Alcohol. Tobacco. Firearms. Sugar?

It seems that America’s scientists, health care facilitators and government officials have had enough our fat-assery. Due to a steadily rising percentage of obese Americans, particularly children, many of the aforementioned officials have labeled sugar as “toxic” or a poison and wish to pass legislation making it a controlled substance. That will mean that many sweet substances whose names end in -ose will be heavily taxed and more difficult to acquire. It looks like we may actually see a day when sugar joins the sad fraternity of offenders, such as booze or assault rifles, which have at one time or another been forced underground or into black markets by overzealous lawmakers. Granted, health care costs in our country have been blown sky high because we eat, drink and smoke too much (and are relatively lacking in the physical activity department), but there may be a simpler solution to this crisis. If a person willingly destroys their body with alcohol, tobacco and saturated fat, their health care costs get pushed even higher, or are stripped from them outright. Let them die. Plain and simple. I don’t know what more it will take to make the assholes in charge just let natural selection take its course. Barring the occurrence or contraction of diseases not caused by negligence or self-abuse, health is a choice. We once had freedom in this country, and we should continue to be able to make our own decisions. I guess the “pro-choice” angle doesn’t apply to people who want to pump their guts full of high-fructose corn syrup. The Man will rue the day he tries to take gummy bears and soda away from me.

Perhaps equally troubling are the increasingly draconian legislation, both passed and proposed, concerning the use of cell phones while driving. Let me preface this by assuring that I do not condone texting while driving, and fully acknowledge how dangerous it can be. However, what concerns me are the fascist automotive experts, scientists and lawmakers who want new cars to be installed with a wireless device that completely disables your cell phone once you shift your car into drive. Whether you’re using a Bluetooth device or not, your conversation would have to wait until you got where you were going. This insistence has become absurd and forces us into a face-first slide down this painful and slippery slope. What next? Do we have new cars also disable the radio once you start driving, so that you can’t fiddle with it? Or what about no radios in new cars? Maybe we should take it another step further and outlaw passengers in your vehicle, since they’re a distraction too. Even better, why don’t we install a wireless device into new cars that disables your fucking larynx until you reach your destination so that you can’t talk to your passengers? Too far? Oh, forgive me. You’ll remember why I’m so angry the next time you see the fucking 5-0 speed by with a cell phone attached with one hand to their fuzzy little head.

If our forefathers knew of the increasing fascism in our country, they would be convulsing in their fucking graves. “Leave us the fuck alone!”, they’d proclaim, perhaps a bit more properly, but with no less fervent rage.  If you think that the maniacs in charge are behind you at every turn, they probably are. Encroaching on your turf. Breathing down your neck. Telling you what to do. Freedom? But a dream.