Looner Bin

The other night, my girlfriend and I were watching the TV show Strange Sex, which is a show that revolves around uncommon fetishes and sexual deviance. The “best of” episode that we watched highlighted many odd and downright disgusting things, such as a man who derived sexual pleasure from feeding his girlfriend and watching her balloon up to 600 pounds, a man my age who seeks dates from women old enough to be his grandmother, and very painful piercings on sexual organs. Perhaps the strangest story of them all, however, was the widespread sexual fascination with balloons. Called “looners”, there are people who find balloons to be very sexy and turn themselves on by blowing up a balloon as big as it can get without having it pop. The episode depicted one particularly fat man who grew up afraid of balloons and the startling sound they make when popped, but then eventually grew to become sexually charged while blowing up balloons. He even admitted to pleasuring himself while blowing up balloons and having a mini-orgasm when they popped. I can’t even describe to you the ridiculous squeal he would let out when the balloon popped in his face. He went to a club where other balloon lovers danced around, blowing up and popping the party decorations all night. It sounds like a kids party, but these are grown-ass adults. If only there were a way to deliberately invoke natural selection, it isn’t working fast enough.